ze germans have a name for everything

"GE90man" (ge90man) 01/06/2016 at 16:29 • Filed to: germans, names for everything

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whereas a standard AWD badge will do for any other auto maker, the germans must have some kind of patented name for it, including Xdrive, Quattro, 4matic and 4motion. and that’s not all. they have silly names for all kinds of nuances. they also feel the need to put their name in front of everything. here are just some of them, can you list any more? seriously, the list goes on and on

BMW:

XDrive

VANOS

BMW individual

sensatec

steptronic

iDrive

dynamic all the things

(seriously, just go select any car from BMW’s configurator and look at the standard features list and count up how many times you see the word dynamic)

______________________________________________________

Audi:

quattro

matrix led

Audi virtual cockpit

Audi MMI

TIPtronic

audi side assist

audi connect

singleframe

audi concert radio

TFSI

audi ... (insert car system)

e-tron

______________________________________________________

Mercedes-Benz:

4Matic

G-tronic

designo

Mercedes ME

Mercedes COMAND

KEYLESS-GO

multibeam LED

SPLITVIEW (why does MB make them all CAPS?)

PRE-SAFE

SPEEFSHIFT MCT

ATTENTION ASSIST

MAGIC BODY CONTROL

(this list is endless)

______________________________________________________

Volkswagen:

4motion

FSI

TSI

tiptronic

VW car-net

climatronic

DSG

______________________________________________________

Porsche:

P in any abbreviation stands for porsche

PTM traction management

PTV torque vectoring

PSM stability management

PASM active suspension management

PVTS vehicle tracking system

POSIP side impact protection system

PDK

PDCC

PCCB

______________________________________________________

honorable mentions:

acura: P-AWS, SH-AWD

jjhats > GE90man 01/06/2016 at 16:32

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you forgot Sdrive aka RWD

GE90man > jjhats 01/06/2016 at 16:33

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ahh yes, even standard drivetrain has a name for it

Autohaus Derp > GE90man 01/06/2016 at 16:35

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I like my Magic Body Control fried personally.

Ash78, voting early and often > GE90man 01/06/2016 at 16:37

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TFSI

“The Fuck Shit Is?”

/german syntax

//my parents’ tfsi burned down at idle

///that’s the power of common-rail direct injection

GE90man > Autohaus Derp 01/06/2016 at 16:37

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haha good one. i’d love some fried magic body control about now

Ash78, voting early and often > GE90man 01/06/2016 at 16:40

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I believe Tiptronic was a Porsche thing first, before they went with Pretty Darn Kwik (PDK). And then VW went with Damn ‘Spensive Gearing (DSG) but in most of their cars, they kept the Tiptronic name anyway.

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!

GE90man > Ash78, voting early and often 01/06/2016 at 16:41

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ahh thanks for the info, but I find it weird how every little nuance needs a name in Germany. pretty sure those sticks you use to eat currywurst with have patented names too.

Saracen > Ash78, voting early and often 01/06/2016 at 16:42

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DSG predates PDK by four years.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > GE90man 01/06/2016 at 16:43

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Other automakers do this too, to a lesser extent. Maybe they just want to be more German.

pjhusa > GE90man 01/06/2016 at 16:45

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Acura: SH-AWD

GE90man > pjhusa 01/06/2016 at 16:46

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yes, and P-AWS, even my cat has those

Textured Soy Protein > GE90man 01/06/2016 at 16:50

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I just like that Porsche insisted on making their acronym for a dual-clutch transmission using the German for “Porsche dual-clutch transmission.”

PDK = Porsche Doppelkupplungsgetriebe

GE90man > jjhats 01/06/2016 at 16:50

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I understand why it’s called x drive, but I think they named it s drive after the appearance of the tracks the tires left after launching a RWD BMW

Saracen > GE90man 01/06/2016 at 16:50

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The ‘merican car manufacturers have names for everything too. Ze Germans are no different.

Ash78, voting early and often > Saracen 01/06/2016 at 16:51

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True, I wasn’t disputing that — I was simply saying that 90s Porsches had Tiptronic before VW. Then Porsche moved on to PDK in the 2000s.

pjhusa > GE90man 01/06/2016 at 16:51

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very true

GE90man > Saracen 01/06/2016 at 16:51

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those silly americans (and the germans)

jjhats > GE90man 01/06/2016 at 16:52

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i don’t know why they are bragging about it like its an option when it isn’t. its the standard not the upgrade so no need to brag that. also who buys an sdrive x5?

Hoccy > GE90man 01/06/2016 at 16:52

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I miss Opel in your list.

But they don’t really have that many fancy abbreviations.. And I don’t want to look like the Adam.

pjhusa > Textured Soy Protein 01/06/2016 at 16:53

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When you realize that all that should really be in the trademark is Doppelkupplung and that Getriebe is kind of obvious and given.

GE90man > Hoccy 01/06/2016 at 16:53

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oh, I’m American and don't usually see opel

wiffleballtony > GE90man 01/06/2016 at 16:58

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Clean Diesel.

Textured Soy Protein > pjhusa 01/06/2016 at 17:00

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Except...I don’t speak German. I just like chewy German words with lots of consonants in them.

GE90man > wiffleballtony 01/06/2016 at 17:00

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“clean”

pjhusa > Textured Soy Protein 01/06/2016 at 17:01

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lel

I recall a certain word that you might like, but I forgot what it was because 'twas so long.

Hoccy > GE90man 01/06/2016 at 17:02

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They are mostly called other things in America, like Buick. They don’t have a lot of interesting features, but the LED Matrix lights on the new Astra seems cool.

GE90man > Hoccy 01/06/2016 at 17:03

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yeah, but I don't like buick as much as opel due to their grilles and older styling cues

BATC42 > Ash78, voting early and often 01/06/2016 at 17:07

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Aren’t the Tiptronic and DSG a bit different? Like the DSG is a semi-automatic gearbox (it has a clutch) while the Tiptronic is a full auto.

gin-san - shitpost specialist > GE90man 01/06/2016 at 17:11

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Despite this, they still have a tremendous amount of oversteer on smooth surfaces like tile or wood flooring.

Ash78, voting early and often > BATC42 01/06/2016 at 17:13

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Yep...the confusion is that VW sells cars as having “Tiptronic” when they’re really DSG. Meanwhile another Tiptronic model might be a traditional auto. They have co-existed under the same brand name for a while and it’s very frustrating...

pjhusa > GE90man 01/06/2016 at 17:20

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“American”

GE90man > pjhusa 01/06/2016 at 17:20

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Exactly

pjhusa > jjhats 01/06/2016 at 17:21

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Touring the brook has a sDrive X5.

ColoradoTaco > GE90man 01/06/2016 at 17:21

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They do it for wagons too.

Avant - Audi

Estate - Merc

Touring - BMW

GE90man > ColoradoTaco 01/06/2016 at 17:22

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Ahh thanks, thought they were just different names they liked to use

Cé hé sin > Saracen 01/06/2016 at 17:37

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Porsche were actually using the PDK name on a race car before the DSG arrived. The production PDK is indeed post-DSG though.

Cé hé sin > Textured Soy Protein 01/06/2016 at 17:39

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As did VW with DSG. It just happens that you can make the initials fit an English name as well.

Textured Soy Protein > Cé hé sin 01/06/2016 at 17:54

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There are so many letters in Doppelkupplungsgetriebe, just think of how many possible 3-letter abbreviations for it there are!

RallyWrench > GE90man 01/06/2016 at 18:12

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I request that we give “quattro” a pass. All the others are silly.

AuthiCooper1300 > Cé hé sin 01/06/2016 at 18:14

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Hear, hear!

GE90man > RallyWrench 01/06/2016 at 18:15

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Yes, but for the sake of the list, i added it

AuthiCooper1300 > GE90man 01/06/2016 at 18:24

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You are right. It is quite ridiculous.

However, I suspect US marketing techniques may partly be to blame. More specifically, that 50s-60s trend in America to give colourful names to certain equipment options.

What about Twin Grip, Positive Traction, Positraction, SureGrip, TrakLok or Anti-Spin for what you would normally call “limited slip differential”?

Post-war, Germany has been much more heavily influenced by the US than you might think.

In any case, marketing and advertising are becoming quite idiotic all over the world, and not just in the car industry.

Nauraushaun > GE90man 01/07/2016 at 03:22

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I’d like to point out that the Americans have a history of this as well. The Americans are generally more market-y about it. Some names for the humble automatic transmission:

Ultramatic

Dynaflow

TorqueFlite

PowerFlite

Turboglide

MegaSuperHydroUltraTurboDynamatic

I may have made that last one up.